Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Day 80: Building Trust in your own Body

Trust is a funny thing. It can take years to truly build it up. Just a moment to destroy it.

For years I didn't trust my body. I didn't believe it could do the things that it's actually capable of doing. My health was so poor that I just didn't trust myself to get over-exerted. I think some of this fear can be related to people, who like me, who have suffered panic attacks before. If you've ever been through that, you don't want to do ANYTHING that makes you feel that way again. An experience that exerts your body so forcefully, so angrily, without your permission. It's a horrible feeling.

When I look back at the few months I spent working out in a gym a few years ago I now realize that one of the reasons it didn't "work" for me, was because I didn't trust my body. My trainer tried to force me to trust my body, but that just doesn't work. She knew my body could do more than I was allowing myself too, but no one can just make you have that trust. You have to learn to trust your body.

It's been 80 days since I started walking back in August. I started by walking every day of the week, but as the weather has changed and my 8-5 has become more challenging, I now average about 4 days a week. I generally walk between 2-3 miles just depending on how I feel. Some days I try to power walk and do it as quickly as I can, to help me train for upcoming 5K's. Other days however,  I just want to enjoy the walk, feel the air against my face, and watch the changing of the seasons.

What I didn't realize was slowly happening over these past 80 days was that I was building endurance and learning to trust my body. I am a creature of habit and change does not come easy for me. "Change" for me (for the most part) works best in small, manageable stages. Trust, apparently, can happen the same way. Little by little, step by step.

It wasn't until Michael and I participated in the media day at Cherry Point that I realized just how much stronger my body had become. The day was very physical from just being in a hurry going from one place to the next, to climbing up into a very small, tight helicopter space, to practically running up and down many, many flights of steps on the USS Kearsarge.

When the day was over and Michael and I were finally getting a bite to eat for dinner, it dawned on me how much I did that day. How I completely trusted my body to perform without even thinking about it. That would not have happened 3 months ago. And truly, I would not have been able to do it well. I was not in the mental or physical shape to do those activities without a second thought.

But when we signed up to do this event, it never even dawned on me how physically challenging the day would be, and that very fact... that I didn't even THINK about it... was a huge accomplishment in itself.

When you don't trust your body, you think about every single activity beforehand... from just heading to the grocery store, to driving your car, to your route from the parking lot to your office, to planning vacations around simple, easy activities with no steps, etc... You think about every physical activity your body can handle. Everything. Sometimes not even consciously, you just automatically find an easier way to work around a situation. And hear me out on this... This is NOT necessarily a bad thing, we have to be able to know what we can and cannot do physically and emotionally... but when you don't trust your body, you aren't often willing to test the limits of what your body can actually do. There's a fine line between real ability and challenging yourself to gain strength and endurance.

In the past I've been a big fan of shows like "The Biggest Loser" and "Extreme Makeover," but what those shows don't tell you is weight loss and regaining health is about so much more than just losing weight and having an exercise routine.

It's about slowly taking the time to trust your body, it's about slowly, SLOWLY changing your mindset towards food, (and much more importantly) towards how you deal with difficult situations, and how you handle life each and every day. This kind of change just doesn't happen overnight.

To change your weight permanently, means changing your entire frame-of-reference in terms of how you comfort yourself, how you handle stress, and how you face challenges. It means truly changing how you think, how to handle your feelings, and how you live every day.

  • Which is why diets in general don't work.
  • Which is why extreme makeovers rarely last. 
  • And why shows like "The Biggest Loser" often do not result in lifelong change. 

Real change takes a lot of time... not just weeks or even months...it can take years. This means it takes a lot of patience as well. True patience in your whole-self, not just your physical body. Real change means learning how to safely build trust in your body and eventually being able to accept new physical and mental challenges.

In a nutshell, it means other people can't force us to change or to trust our bodies. (At least in my personal experience!) Learning to trust your body enough to test it's limits and build endurance takes TIME. It also takes practice and the willingness to keep going... little by little... step by step!

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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Celebrating Veteran's Day 2014 - Operation Bold Alligator Overview

Bold Alligator 2014
  • Today's post is written by Michael Forbes, November 11, 2014. Michael and I (Carrie) participated in a media day with the US Marines & Naval Forces during their yearly Operation Bold Alligator Exercise. I'm very thankful that Michael was able to go with me, as I knew he would have the wonderful ability to retain much of what we experienced during the trip, and would be able to write a thorough and thoughtful essay of the day's events. We will both be forever grateful to all of the Marine and Navy personnel who assisted us and kept us safe as we flew over the Atlantic, gave us tours and personal interviews, along with their time and energy on November 3, 2014. 
Bold Alligator refers to a large scale training exercise conducted by the United States Navy and Marines, along with major contributions from multiple nations. 

The exercise is conducted once a year, though this year the event was at a larger scale. The intent of the event this year is to re-examine the function of the Navy and Marines, returning to their original purpose.

Originally, the Marines were the ground troops of the Navy – meaning that if the Navy needed to address a situation on shore (such as an island or coastal area) the Marines could be deployed to carry out missions. For the last several years, the Marines have been mostly deployed along with the Army in the Middle East, in Iraq and Afghanistan especially. Though their missions have been successful, the concern is that the Marines and Navy need to be retrained for future missions in different environments, considering changes in the global political environment.

On Monday, November 3rd, a few members of the media were allowed to visit and interact with troops and commanders. By a stroke of luck, Carrie was given to opportunity to sign up, as she runs this blog, and is somewhat local to Camp Lejeune (Eastern NC). This was a rather unique opportunity as her blog focuses mostly on dietary lifestyles, specifically food. She was a bit reluctant to go by herself, and asked if I could go, as I occasionally help with the blog, and often take photos. Fortunately, I was granted permission, and my boss was kind enough to let me have the day off.

We spent the night with our friend Betty in Swansboro, since she is close to the Marine base. We got up early that morning, and made our way to the base. We were running a couple of minutes late, and then realized that we didn’t have a pass to get into the base. Fortunately, we found that they had vans ready for the visitors, so we hopped in and once everyone arrived, we made our way into the base.

After getting to the base, we go to a conference room where an overview of the Exercise is presented. Without going into the technical details, I will say this: They plan for everything. Everything.

The most probable missions are search and rescue, and humanitarian aid. They are also prepared for taking on low level threats, all the way up to the very unlikely event of a global war. We only saw the tip of the iceberg, but it was quite amazing to see the amount of planning and coordination that goes into even the “easiest” missions.

Every scenario you can think of has a plan – either to prevent it or respond to it. For example, they have entomologists who study the local insects in places of upcoming or recent deployments. They gather specimens, identify them, and check them for any dangers including venom or infections they may be carrying. That may sound a bit silly at first, but something like malaria can make a difference in the outcome of a battle, as many armies have learned in the past.

Weather is actually the most significant factor in any tactical or strategic situation. Bad weather can make it hard for us to get to work or go to the grocery store, but for the Marines and Navy, it could mean the difference between life and death. Rough seas, storm fronts, and Tropical cyclones can completely throw off a mission plan, so backup plans are needed. In movies, they have a Plan A, then a Plan B, but in real life the weather can change from hour to hour, so the Marines and Sailors have to be adaptable – ready for anything. Sometimes a situation may need action, no matter what the weather is like, and changes can be made on the fly.

One surprise was the amount of cooperation with other nations Bold Alligator displayed. Between 15 and 20 nations participated in the events. Remember that nations often need to work together to address a situation and any miscommunication can lead to unfortunate results. Tremendous effort goes into learning different languages, culture and customs so that international teams can work together to accomplish their goals. Good communication can prevent bad things from happening in the first place.

In short, training helps determine if tactics or strategies need to be altered and improved, or if new ideas can work. If something doesn't work, no problem – reset and try again. That can’t always be done in “real” life.

It’s also a chance to try out new equipment and technology, and maybe make some refinements. For example, we got to check out some bomb disposal robots and an underwater surveillance drone, which looks like a miniature submarine. The land robots have been used successfully in combat, and frankly they are very cool. They are basically remote controlled units with a camera that allows the operator to see what robot sees, and controller that looks a lot like a game controller. This allows dangerous tasks to be done with less risk of personal injury.

Next we got to take a look at a Command Center. This is basically a bunch of interconnected tents with plastic flooring, HVAC, and computer systems. I can’t describe much though, since all of the screens were blacked out. We were not able to take photos, and had to leave cameras and phones at a security checkpoint. The rest will have to be left up to you imagination, and ours too.

After this, we took a ride to an airstrip, which is composed of interlocking panels, similar to tounge and groove flooring, but bigger. These panels can be laid down over most hard, level surfaces for a temporary, movable airstrip. Along with this airstrip we saw a fuel truck, heavy fork-lift, a heavy-duty street-sweeper for airfields, and a firetruck, which can pump water while in motion. These vehicles and their operators are crucial to the safe airfield operations, and they look cool too!

After a quick lunch, it was time for a helicopter ride…

We went outside, put on inflatable life jackets, and head gear (helmet, ear-protection, eye protection) and walked out to a pair of H60 helicopters. Helicopters are loud and windy, so debris hitting you in the face would put a damper on your day. Inside, the helicopter was not what I would call a luxury vehicle. If it doesn’t have a useful purpose, it’s not there. No need for plush seats when a frame and a sheet of fabric will do. No cruise control or 9-speaker stereo system. It does have a Nav system though, and another one called a map - remember those? That’s pretty important, because once you are over the ocean, there are no landmarks. Landing on an aircraft carrier/amphibious assault ship is not easy either. The ship is moving and rolling with the seas, so the actual surface you are touching down on is moving independently of the helicopter! Good thing they know what they are doing, and that alone shows why training is so important.

Onboard the USS Kearsarge

Once clear, we hopped off the helicopter and walked down a long steep ramp to what is basically a huge garage. This is where other helicopters and Harriers are serviced, maintained and stored. Busy place, and kind of a dangerous place to be, so we were scooted away through a maze of tight corridors and very steep stairs (really more like ladders) checking out the exercise room, and mess hall (which included a brief Q&A session with a Major and the Admiral of the ship. The room would not have been out of place in an office building. As we were listening to further details about the operation, I noticed the whole room was gently rocking – along with the rest of the ship -  to the waves. I’m sure you get used to it, but it felt a bit strange to have the entire room slightly moving as you sat at a table as if you were in any other office meeting.

So where were we? Not sure. We were “at least 12 miles” off the coast of North Carolina, and I suspect maybe 20-24 miles out. That’s the farthest I’ve ever been out to sea, and looking at the marines and sailors going about their daily routines, I felt a little out of place. These people have probably been all over the world – living on the ship for weeks or months at a time. Imagine going to work (or school) and not being able to leave for weeks at a time, and your office building being surrounded by an endless featureless horizon. I hope you like your job, because you’re gonna be there a while. I can only imagine the cabin fever, and general homesick feeling these people have to deal with while maintaining their professionalism. That gave me a new appreciation for my 15-20 minute “commute” every day – in a climate controlled truck with nice comfy seats.

The Sailors and Marines were all extremely courteous and professional. Everyone has a job to do, and each is important. This is sort of like a floating city, with 100% employment and everyone does their part. One thing I noticed was that the ship was incredibly clean. No dirt or trash to be found, and there is obviously a lot of pride in keeping it that way. Another thing that stood out was the amount of female Sailors and Marines, which made up about 1/8 of the total population, which itself could be up to around 3,000 personnel.

When we entered the Bridge, and met the captain of the ship. Keep in mind, it doesn’t look like the bridge from Star Trek. It’s far more utilitarian. There are some state of the art display systems, but also WWII era technology right alongside the new stuff. There is a redundant system for everything. If something fails, the job still has to be done, so time and battle proven systems are there too. Even the voice pipes are still used. They do not require electrical power and are immune to radio frequency interference, making them a practical solution. The captain chair isn’t in the middle of the room. His chair is on the left side, so that he can see the flight deck. The Ensigns have a station as well. They are the ones who actually pilot the ship. Imagine driving a car that’s the length of two football fields and then some. No pressure – especially when you are 19-20 years old! I really wanted to ask if it would be OK for me to man the controls, but I figured that would be pushing it.

After this we went to a sort of holding room, and then up to the flight deck, were we saw one of the aforementioned H60 helicopters performing touch-and-go drills. Upon taking off, the helicopter rolled a bit to one side, allowing the rotors to blow against us. The resulting wind is enough to knock you down, so you need to brace yourself and lean into it. The entire drill seemed almost effortless to the crew and aviators.

After checking out some of the other aircraft, including Cobra attack helicopters, it was time to return to the shore. We geared up and flew home. We landed back at Cherry Point, but on a runway. The helicopters actually landed like a traditional airplane, and taxied to position. I honestly didn’t know they could do that, and that was a nice reminder of the skill level involved, as well as the capabilities of the fine aircraft. After a final Q and A session, we headed back out to the vans to ride back to our cars, and watched a Harrier II take off in the distance.

As the day ended, and we went back to my truck and talked about everything we saw. The day seemed to fly by, and honestly it was a lot to process. Being civilians, much of the terminology was over our heads, but we knew enough to get the basics, and understand the sheer immensity that goes into military operations.

We saw that the vehicles and equipment are awesome, but are actually worthless without the people who use and support them – mostly kids only a few years out of high school. It’ not something that anyone can do – being so far away from home in a wide variety of conditions, dealing with situations that may not be safe or friendly.

These are not action-movie stars. They are regular people who have made a commitment and work hard every day, often putting their lives at risk so that we can enjoy our own daily routines without worrying about being invaded by a hostile nation. We take them for granted. We don’t even acknowledge their presence most of the time, but they remain ready for whatever they need to do. That’s kind of mind blowing. Today is Veteran’s Day, and because of this opportunity, I have a little better understanding of what life is like for our military – the professionals who have willingly decided to keep this nation safe, and why events like Bold Alligator are so important.

Semper Fidelis (“Always Faithful” Marine motto.)

Non sibi sed patriae (“Not self but Country” Navy unofficial motto.)


My participation in exercise Bold Alligator is the outcome at the outset of my nomination by Dennis Hall, founder of Avere Group LLC in California. Jenny Lauck of BlogHer referred me to Dennis Hall. He has nominated community leaders on a pro bono basis to the military for public affairs embarks for over 22 years. He is neither an employee nor contractor of the military.

Dennis Hall initially submitted my nomination to Lieutenant Commander Jereal Dorsey, Public Affairs Officer, and James DeAngio, Deputy Public Affairs Officer for the US Navy Commander, Naval Surface Forces, US Atlantic Fleet, based in Norfolk, Virgina. They in turn referred Dennis Hall to Navy Lieutenant Commander Candice Tresch, Public Affairs Officer for Expeditionary Strike Group 2, Navy Lieutenant Michael Sheehan, Public Affairs Officers for the U.S. Fleet Forces Command Public Affairs, and Marine Corps Major Matthew Bellaver, Public Affairs Officer for the Marine Forces Command. They selected and invited me to exercise Bold Alligator media day on November 3, 2014.

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Saturday, October 25, 2014

An October Food & Exercise Update & Kittehs

October has been a busy month! We participated in another 5K, this was focused on Autism Awareness in Greenville, NC. We participated with a BUNCH of kids who were part of a running club (I had no idea such a thing existed for kids!) and it was so inspiring to see these kids take part of a 5K (and completely kick our butts along the way! lol)... It was a really fun event! Michael and I both finished around 49 minutes which was a record for us! I had burning lungs, but it felt really good to shave 6 minutes off my time from the September 5K! 

This month was also a milestone for us as Michael and I celebrated 10 years of marriage! It's gone by so fast, and it's fun to look back on the blog, because we had only been married 3 years when I started writing Ginger Lemon Girl... so we've grown along with this blog! 

It also marked a month of a huge change in our way of eating. I decided to start following a "whole-foods-plant-based-low-oil" eating plan. Basically the "McDougall Plan" if you're familiar with vegetarian/vegan doctor programs. Of course I follow the plan the best way I can with a gluten intolerance and a soy allergy, so I'm definitely not 100% McDougall, but very close. I decided with my Dad's medical history of heart problems and other health issues that it was time to make a permanent change. And somehow, it's been relatively easy. Much easier than I thought it would be. 

I also had a recent check up at my doctor's office and I had lost 11 pounds since my visit in late August and my blood pressure was the lowest it's ever tested in the past 10 years. My doctor said that I may even be able to go off one of my blood pressure medications very soon! So I feel very good about this dietary decision. I feel like I'm headed in the right direction to regain my overall health and I feel like I'm truly feeding my body well. I'm also incredibly thankful my husband is so supportive and willing to eat most of the "new" foods in our menu rotation! :-) 

I thought I'd share a sample of some of the things from our kitchen the past few weeks. Most don't have a specific recipe... just things I threw together to make a quick meal. I have not used any animal products in over a month and for my spiritual and religious beliefs...along with my health, it's just been a really great decision. 

 Rice chex with almond milk, sliced almonds, and blueberries... loaded cereal is always a favorite breakfast or snack! 

One of my favorite snacks right now is just plain 'ol drained & rinsed canned chickpeas (garbanzo beans). I could make them from scratch, but the canned variety from Harris Teeter is so easy! This snack is what seriously pulled me through the first week of being vegan. I think I probably ate at least 3 cans!

 In some ways after I had spend so much time and energy writing cookbooks the past few years I was "over" cooking and prep work. I just didn't want to do it anymore, it was major burnout... but changing my way of eating has given me a new energy in the kitchen and helped me to enjoy cooking again! This is the prep for kale & potato hash, one of my favorite breakfasts! Chopped potatoes, mushrooms, kale, green pepper, onions, and there's garlic in there somewhere!

The finished hash! I served it with salsa and half an avocado per serving. One of the keys to following a "McDougall" type plan is to eat as many whole-food, plant-foods as possible with no added oils. McDougall recommends that the fats in your diet come from whole food sources such as avocado, seeds, or nuts. I limit these foods because I'm trying to lose weight, but include one or two servings a week. 

A rare treat! I doubt these muffins were actually vegan or oil-free, but they WERE GLUTEN-FREE and this was from a meal out at Sweet Tomatoes in Raleigh, NC! Recently they have started offering a limited selection of gluten-free baked goods occasionally and these were gluten-free maple nut muffins. They were absolutely delicious and I was so impressed with Sweet Tomatoes offering a gluten-free baked good for those with celiac or gluten sensitivity.

My salad from our meal out at Sweet Tomatoes. It's amazing to me that I can enjoy a salad without eggs or cheese on it. I honestly never thought that was something I could do long term. But I feel SO GOOD with this way of eating, that I really don't miss the animal proteins at all. They even had gluten-free chilled brown rice pasta on the salad bar! This salad was early in my journey, so the dressing was not dairy-free (at least I don't think it was)... now I'm usually dressing salads with red wine vinegar, or apple cider vinegar, or a homemade tahini lemon dressing... and freshly ground salt & pepper.

 This was a "no-meat" loaf... in which Michael was seriously heavy-handed on the ketchup! haha! This recipe was from the Happy Herbivore cookbook, it was called "The Hippie Loaf" created for a friend who had celiac disease. We honestly were not big fans of this version of a no-meat loaf. I prefer this version that I tried several years ago... however, the mashed potatoes were made from yukon gold potatoes and simply mashed with Harris Teeter vegetable broth, a little nutritional yeast, and lots of added garlic and onion seasoning... we ate the entire pot. I love not feeling guilty about eating mashed potatoes!

For breakfast and sometimes lunch I often have veggie sandwiches loaded with hummus, sliced red peppers, sliced mushrooms, alfalfa sprouts, sliced tomatoes, sliced cooked potatoes, spinach, kale, etc... all put between two slices of gluten-free bread for me... it's filling, healthy, and is a perfect vegan "fast food" meal. McDougall recommends making your own hummus without any added oils and limited tahini (or no tahini)... because I live in the real world and I'm just trying to get through my 9-5 everyday, I use Food Lion's Taste of Inspirations types of hummus. They don't have a lot of added oil (and are definitely not swimming in it like some brands) and I use gluten-free bread from the store that does have egg whites. It's important to me to share this because while it doesn't follow the McDougall plan completely, it's close and it's still a very healthy way to eat and it works for my personal time limitations. I truly believe you have to make a plan work for you the best way you can. Otherwise, how will you stick with it? For these sandwiches, I try to slice & prep any ingredients and have them ready in the fridge for a quick meal anytime during the week. Hummus has become my mayonnaise and I LOVE slathering it on these sandwiches!

This was a meal I made a few nights ago and it would be a really great idea for the holidays. I had bought two medium-sized acorn squashes and I wanted to fill them with something other than rice (I've eaten a lot of rice! lol)... so I decided to make a stuffing with some of the gluten-free bread we had, chopped spinach, chopped & roasted chestnuts, celery, onions, sunflower seeds, and poultry seasoning. I used vegetable broth as the "binder" for the stuffing and this meal was THE BOMB! It would definitely be a great meal for the holidays, it tasted a lot like my favorite Thanksgiving stuffing, without feeling guilty about carb overload!

This was a comfort food night. I wanted something soupy with potatoes, so we made an easy succotash stew. Just peeled & boiled red potatoes and added a can of corn, tomatoes, and lima beans to the potatoes and cooking broth. I actually made this at my mother-in-law's house and everyone seemed to enjoy it for a late dinner that night.

Dinner out for our anniversary! I can't give up sushi, so I made the decision to have veggie sushi that night and it was delicious! I had two orders of avocado sushi, and one order of a veggie roll which included avocado, cucumbers, and two types of Japanese pickles. I was a very happy camper. This was a cornerstone meal to me because I really wanted to "cheat" and order my favorite Philly roll with smoked salmon and cream cheese... but I stuck to my plan and it worked and I felt great after our dinner. 

Along with the food changes, walking has become my favorite form of both meditation and exercise. I walk 4-5 days out of each week and it's easier on some days than others. But it's slowly becoming a habit I love and something I look forward too. At first I walked most mornings around 4:30am because my work schedule had changed and that forced me to get up earlier. However... as it's gotten colder in the mornings, I've gotten lazy and become a wimp... and now generally walk at the duck pond at work around 10am. Either way... it's happening and I'm glad! I love getting that daily dose of fresh air, stretching my legs, and having that time to be thankful and meditative for the day ahead.

And last but not least... PIZZA! And that's a vegan pizza no less! This is definitely a treat because it has Daiya vegan (and gluten-free and soy-free) cheese on it, and the crust has added oil, but I can't give up pizza out occasionally and I'm just thrilled I can still get it and enjoy it and not feel guilty about it. My favorite place to get pizza is Zpizza, but Mellow Mushroom now has a vegan, gluten-free crust available as well. To be MORE McDougall compliant, I can easily leave off the Daiya and just have a tomato sauce & veggie pizza. It dawned on me about 2 months ago that over the past year I had not ordered a pizza with meat. There have been many small changes in my eating along the way that have enabled this change to come at the right time. And apparently over the past year, I've preferred a veggie pizza every time! This must be why! :-) 

And because I've been suck a slacker in my posting schedule, I thought I'd share some kitteh pictures with  you! Enjoy! 

Mollie in her favorite place lately, snuggled next to Michael in his chair.  

Max & Maya, lifelong snuggle buddies

 Max is not so much of a lapcat, but he will sit in the cat tree and stare at you intently for hours! It can be kind of creepy some days... lol!

 This is my mother-in-law's cat Tobie. He loves to sit in the fabric between her foot rest and chair when she's dozing in the living room! 

Charlie & Whiskey... these boys are bestest buddies and it's a rare day to find one not next to or on top of the other! 

Have a wonderful week! 

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